One of the weirder things about being funemployed is how much free time I have to think about the most random things. I was watching something on TV (not even sure what it was), and one of the character said "good things happen to good people." For some reason, my brain decided that this was something that I needed to think about in depth.
It's one of the least true statements I can think of that people actually say (like, I know "the sky is the same as the ocean" would be less true, but no one claims that please I hope). Who decided that this was something we should tell people?
I think the catastrophe we called an election should prove this. A reality TV star who uses social media to harass anyone who disagrees with his distorted world view somehow deluded people into voting for him. He's not a good person - not by any definition of the word good of which I am aware. Becoming a powerful leader shouldn't the reward for scamming students and advocating grabbing women by the pussy. But somehow it was.
We all have at least one person (probably a lot more) in our lives who have done bad things and get great results. It can be someone who cheated on you and now has an amazing relationship. Or a customer who screams at you at work over something that isn't your fault and is rewarded with a gift card by corporate (ass kissing corporate). Or someone who eliminates your position only to turn around and give it to their friend while selling their company for a ton of money. You know, everyday stuff.
What about when we start thinking about good people? If bad things happen to someone, does that mean they aren't a good person? Like, my position was eliminated - does that mean I'm a bad person? If good things
happen to good people, shouldn't that not have happened to me? There are good people all over the world with bad things happening to them every single day from murder all the way down to crying at their office every day because their bosses are self-centered sexists.
Also, there are a lot of things that could be considered "good" to one person and "bad" to someone else. Example: children. I have friends who have kids. When they found out they were pregnant, that was a good thing for them. If I ended up pregnant, that would be a bad thing for me. So in that specific situation, they were good people. But would that make me bad people because it wasn't a good thing happening to me? Or does other people's interpretations of the event factor in?
Then there is the whole issue of good v bad people. Are we talking about a person in a specific instance or is it the sum of a person's whole life? Sir Francis Drake is a hero or a villain depending on which side you talk to (and yes, I did think of that because of Muppet Treasure Island because it is a fantastic movie we should all be watching right now).
My conclusion on "good things happen to good people" is that it's a stupid phrase we use when we are trying to make ourselves feel better about situations over which we have no control. Yay?
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Friday, November 18, 2016
Holidays are Hard
We are about to start the winter holiday season (I don't care how long you have had Christmas things out Target - too soon!).
I have had conflicting feelings about holidays since my father died in 2009. It is fun to get the whole family together, but then you realize a piece of the family is missing. I keep going over and over in my head about what things would be like if he was still here. I think there are always moments where everyone is laughing and it sort of strikes people thato the group will never be entirely whole again.
Thanksgiving isn't as bad as Christmas. He worked at a grocery store, so he had to work on Thanksgiving day in the morning. (side note: get your stuff ahead of time. Day of shoppers act like monsters on speed). Working in a grocery store didn't quite make him love the food based holidays.
The holidays make me think of all the points in my life he missed. He never met Caleb. He didn't see us buy the condo. He doesn't know how much I travel. He certainly never knew anything about unchaperonedwhitegirl.
It has given me part of my life motto though: I don't want to look back and have not done things. It is so easy to believe that there will be time later to do what you want. Sometimes there isn't.
I have had conflicting feelings about holidays since my father died in 2009. It is fun to get the whole family together, but then you realize a piece of the family is missing. I keep going over and over in my head about what things would be like if he was still here. I think there are always moments where everyone is laughing and it sort of strikes people thato the group will never be entirely whole again.
Thanksgiving isn't as bad as Christmas. He worked at a grocery store, so he had to work on Thanksgiving day in the morning. (side note: get your stuff ahead of time. Day of shoppers act like monsters on speed). Working in a grocery store didn't quite make him love the food based holidays.
The holidays make me think of all the points in my life he missed. He never met Caleb. He didn't see us buy the condo. He doesn't know how much I travel. He certainly never knew anything about unchaperonedwhitegirl.
It has given me part of my life motto though: I don't want to look back and have not done things. It is so easy to believe that there will be time later to do what you want. Sometimes there isn't.
Monday, November 14, 2016
Continuing Job Applications
It's a good thing that I generally think highly of myself because looking for a job is an exercise in almost constant rejection. Plus the isolation.
I have applied to a bunch of jobs online, had phone interviews, gone to job fairs, and had two in-person interviews at the same place. It's basically become a cycle of rejection emails and radio silence.
Not to get too much into the election (in this post anyway), but I 100% agree with all the posts saying that, after someone with no political or government experience can be elected, I don't want to see all these crazy qualifications to apply to something. Like, something will be listed as a Marketing Assistant, but they want like 7 years of experience for it. On occasion, I do apply to these jobs anyway (because I have nothing to lose at this point), but it is frustrating.
I frequently wish that I would have majored in something that translated directly to a career. I had a lot of fun at Duquesne, but this is almost creating an existential crisis. I mean - I am really not qualified to do anything. So many postings say that they want a business major or a communications major or something else specific for a general sounding customer service position. Even my experience in insurance doesn't seem to be helping.
Once I start thinking about that, my brain just keeps going on that path. I end up thinking about all the choices I made in my life that led me to be unemployed right now. I should have majored in something else, I shouldn't have worked at CBC, I shouldn't have left CBC, I shouldn't have started at QBE, I shouldn't have left QBE, I shouldn't have started at TJS, I shouldn't have left the front desk, I shouldn't have left benefits, I should have done something else. Each little thought builds on the last one until I basically want to do nothing but stay in bed and drink wine. I'm not sure how I would lay in bed and drink at the same time, but I am a problem solver!
I realistically know it is a low level of anxiety - being realistic is hard! When most of the people you know are working (special shout out to my other funemployed friends! <3), and you are sitting at home, it's hard. I have done the best I can, and as long as I keep trying, there is nothing more that I can be doing.
Hm...what started out as a post about how my self esteem is really good for all these rejections turned into how anxious not having a job is making me. Things change so quickly here!
I have applied to a bunch of jobs online, had phone interviews, gone to job fairs, and had two in-person interviews at the same place. It's basically become a cycle of rejection emails and radio silence.
Not to get too much into the election (in this post anyway), but I 100% agree with all the posts saying that, after someone with no political or government experience can be elected, I don't want to see all these crazy qualifications to apply to something. Like, something will be listed as a Marketing Assistant, but they want like 7 years of experience for it. On occasion, I do apply to these jobs anyway (because I have nothing to lose at this point), but it is frustrating.
I frequently wish that I would have majored in something that translated directly to a career. I had a lot of fun at Duquesne, but this is almost creating an existential crisis. I mean - I am really not qualified to do anything. So many postings say that they want a business major or a communications major or something else specific for a general sounding customer service position. Even my experience in insurance doesn't seem to be helping.
Once I start thinking about that, my brain just keeps going on that path. I end up thinking about all the choices I made in my life that led me to be unemployed right now. I should have majored in something else, I shouldn't have worked at CBC, I shouldn't have left CBC, I shouldn't have started at QBE, I shouldn't have left QBE, I shouldn't have started at TJS, I shouldn't have left the front desk, I shouldn't have left benefits, I should have done something else. Each little thought builds on the last one until I basically want to do nothing but stay in bed and drink wine. I'm not sure how I would lay in bed and drink at the same time, but I am a problem solver!
I realistically know it is a low level of anxiety - being realistic is hard! When most of the people you know are working (special shout out to my other funemployed friends! <3), and you are sitting at home, it's hard. I have done the best I can, and as long as I keep trying, there is nothing more that I can be doing.
Hm...what started out as a post about how my self esteem is really good for all these rejections turned into how anxious not having a job is making me. Things change so quickly here!
Monday, November 7, 2016
Food Crafts!
If there is a sober (or at least semi-sober) activity I love the most, I think it is food crafting. My friends and I decided that's what we call making food items. It sounds more fun than anything else we could think of. We kegged our most recent beer last night, and I think that made me want to make more.
Since I am still funemployed (although working on it!), I have all the time in the world to make things. While walking at Target today, I decided that I needed to make a pie. Never made a pie before, but now seems like a good time to start! I bought the cherry filling, but I decided to make the dough myself. Which I hadn't done before either. When I got to Giant Eagle, I decided today was also a day to make another batch of hot sauce. I get a lot of questions when I buy a giant produce bag full of habaneros - I have had cashiers ask me if I know what I am buying. I always like to think that is a good sign of how my hot sauce will turn out. Before I left the produce section, I decided that I was going to make ginger ale today as well.
I started off with the ginger ale because it can take the longest to make. I make mine using a modified version of this Alton Brown recipe. I quadruple the ginger, halve the sugar, and leave the lemon out entirely. I also use twice the amount of water to get more out of it. I have worked on this over the past few recipes to make it the taste I like. There is nothing quite like a whiskey ginger with homemade ginger ale. Instead of tasting like sugar that might have seen ginger in the distant past, the ginger flavor can really pop! Grating that much ginger is a super pain though. I usually take a break halfway through so my wrist isn't screaming at me.
I did the pie crust next. I used this Allrecipes.com version of pie crust. Since I had never made pie crust before, I chose to follow the recipe. One thing I never understood in recipes was "when the dough comes together." I first came across it while making Cheez-Its. When you see it, you will know. The dough goes from being weird crumbly bits and you start despairing that you have screwed it up and used all your butter, and then it magically looks like dough you have seen other people use. It isn't exactly the prettiest thing in the world, but it worked for my very first attempt (cherry in case you were wondering).
Hot sauce was last because I had to wash the food processor from the pie crust. (I put salsa chicken in the Crockpot while I was waiting for the pieces to dry off a bit). I base my recipe off of this one, but I don't follow it to the letter. I know - shocking!! I use a bunch of habanero peppers and some jalapenos. I also guess on the amount of garlic. Making hot sauce at home is awesome (in both the cool way and the terrifying way). I highly recommend putting Vick's Vaporub under your nose so you can breathe the whole time. I also wear a rubber glove on the hand I am holding the peppers with. I know this sounds really overkill, but I have definitely gotten pepper juice in my eyes after doing this. 0/10 do not recommend.
I was so productive today (I went grocery shopping and to the Post Office in addition to all of these food crafts) that Caleb asked me if I was trying to make up for something he didn't know about yet. I would consider that a win!
Since I am still funemployed (although working on it!), I have all the time in the world to make things. While walking at Target today, I decided that I needed to make a pie. Never made a pie before, but now seems like a good time to start! I bought the cherry filling, but I decided to make the dough myself. Which I hadn't done before either. When I got to Giant Eagle, I decided today was also a day to make another batch of hot sauce. I get a lot of questions when I buy a giant produce bag full of habaneros - I have had cashiers ask me if I know what I am buying. I always like to think that is a good sign of how my hot sauce will turn out. Before I left the produce section, I decided that I was going to make ginger ale today as well.
I started off with the ginger ale because it can take the longest to make. I make mine using a modified version of this Alton Brown recipe. I quadruple the ginger, halve the sugar, and leave the lemon out entirely. I also use twice the amount of water to get more out of it. I have worked on this over the past few recipes to make it the taste I like. There is nothing quite like a whiskey ginger with homemade ginger ale. Instead of tasting like sugar that might have seen ginger in the distant past, the ginger flavor can really pop! Grating that much ginger is a super pain though. I usually take a break halfway through so my wrist isn't screaming at me.
I did the pie crust next. I used this Allrecipes.com version of pie crust. Since I had never made pie crust before, I chose to follow the recipe. One thing I never understood in recipes was "when the dough comes together." I first came across it while making Cheez-Its. When you see it, you will know. The dough goes from being weird crumbly bits and you start despairing that you have screwed it up and used all your butter, and then it magically looks like dough you have seen other people use. It isn't exactly the prettiest thing in the world, but it worked for my very first attempt (cherry in case you were wondering).
Hot sauce was last because I had to wash the food processor from the pie crust. (I put salsa chicken in the Crockpot while I was waiting for the pieces to dry off a bit). I base my recipe off of this one, but I don't follow it to the letter. I know - shocking!! I use a bunch of habanero peppers and some jalapenos. I also guess on the amount of garlic. Making hot sauce at home is awesome (in both the cool way and the terrifying way). I highly recommend putting Vick's Vaporub under your nose so you can breathe the whole time. I also wear a rubber glove on the hand I am holding the peppers with. I know this sounds really overkill, but I have definitely gotten pepper juice in my eyes after doing this. 0/10 do not recommend.
I was so productive today (I went grocery shopping and to the Post Office in addition to all of these food crafts) that Caleb asked me if I was trying to make up for something he didn't know about yet. I would consider that a win!
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Travel Story Interrupted!
I am going to leave the second part of my travel story for another day - my friends threw me a surprise wedding shower on Saturday!!
My husband and I eloped in Hawaii back in April without telling anyone. So we didn't do a bridal shower or engagement party or anything like that (although we did have a Vegas bachelorette party). While I love that we eloped, I didn't love missing out on those kinds of events. I like the idea of celebrating milestones with your friends. My friends knew this and decided to surprise me with a shower on Saturday!
I thought my friend and I were going up to Ross Park Mall to do some shopping. I even brought an Express return that I needed to do! When she showed up, she said she was buying a toaster oven from someone in Building A and wanted to get it before we went shopping. After a few awkward moments of us trying to figure out how to get in (in which I didn't realize anything was going on), we got in the elevator to go to the Party Room. When we turned the corner, I saw that the party room was decorated and a ton of my friends/family were there!
As you may have guessed, we were not going shopping. Somehow, all my friends managed to keep it a secret from me for who knows how long! Definitely long enough that there were invitations and save the dates. Two of my friends were dressed as different incarnations of me - one when I dressed up like a dead hookers for a play and the other from when I made a shirt to see a Tamburitzan show. It is def strange to have people dressed up like you!
After hanging out for a while and playing a few games, there was one more surprise. Jon surprised me by coming in from NYC! He was dressed as the current version of me (which included au unchaperonedwhitegirl crop top)! I have enough booze to throw a frat party because he was in charge of buying it. He apparently almost bought more, but it doesn't help having multiple pregnant women who aren't drinking.
After the shower was officially over, we stayed in the Party Room (and on their patio) drinking and then moved the drinking to our condo. That was also very fun. Afterwards, we went to Mad Mex for a Gobblerito and then onto 5801!
The shower was a lovely time - we played a few games (and not annoying ones I think), and it was so nice to see everyone all in one place. It really means a lot to me that my friends put this together and made it happe!
 |
| Me being super surprised |
My husband and I eloped in Hawaii back in April without telling anyone. So we didn't do a bridal shower or engagement party or anything like that (although we did have a Vegas bachelorette party). While I love that we eloped, I didn't love missing out on those kinds of events. I like the idea of celebrating milestones with your friends. My friends knew this and decided to surprise me with a shower on Saturday!I thought my friend and I were going up to Ross Park Mall to do some shopping. I even brought an Express return that I needed to do! When she showed up, she said she was buying a toaster oven from someone in Building A and wanted to get it before we went shopping. After a few awkward moments of us trying to figure out how to get in (in which I didn't realize anything was going on), we got in the elevator to go to the Party Room. When we turned the corner, I saw that the party room was decorated and a ton of my friends/family were there!
As you may have guessed, we were not going shopping. Somehow, all my friends managed to keep it a secret from me for who knows how long! Definitely long enough that there were invitations and save the dates. Two of my friends were dressed as different incarnations of me - one when I dressed up like a dead hookers for a play and the other from when I made a shirt to see a Tamburitzan show. It is def strange to have people dressed up like you!
 |
| Barbie games are always necessary |
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| Everyone dressed as me |
After the shower was officially over, we stayed in the Party Room (and on their patio) drinking and then moved the drinking to our condo. That was also very fun. Afterwards, we went to Mad Mex for a Gobblerito and then onto 5801!
The shower was a lovely time - we played a few games (and not annoying ones I think), and it was so nice to see everyone all in one place. It really means a lot to me that my friends put this together and made it happe!
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