We are about to start the winter holiday season (I don't care how long you have had Christmas things out Target - too soon!).
I have had conflicting feelings about holidays since my father died in 2009. It is fun to get the whole family together, but then you realize a piece of the family is missing. I keep going over and over in my head about what things would be like if he was still here. I think there are always moments where everyone is laughing and it sort of strikes people thato the group will never be entirely whole again.
Thanksgiving isn't as bad as Christmas. He worked at a grocery store, so he had to work on Thanksgiving day in the morning. (side note: get your stuff ahead of time. Day of shoppers act like monsters on speed). Working in a grocery store didn't quite make him love the food based holidays.
The holidays make me think of all the points in my life he missed. He never met Caleb. He didn't see us buy the condo. He doesn't know how much I travel. He certainly never knew anything about unchaperonedwhitegirl.
It has given me part of my life motto though: I don't want to look back and have not done things. It is so easy to believe that there will be time later to do what you want. Sometimes there isn't.
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